Tag: xwp

theladyfromplanetx:

                                                   Disclaimers

Season 3:

The Furies: “Xena’s sanity was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. The Furies, however, will be opening their own lap-dancing variety show off-off-off Broadway soon.”

Been There, Done That: “The rooster was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. Although his feathers were severely ruffled, a little gel and mousse straightened out the mess.”

The Dirty Half Dozen: “No Convicts were reformed during the production of this motion picture. Can’t we all just get along?”

The Deliverer: “Gabrielle was slightly well – done during the production of this motion picture. However the producers would like to recommend a zesty barbecue sauce to bring out the full flavor of this episode.”

Gabrielle’s Hope: “Despite witnessing the bizarre and somewhat disturbing birth of Gabrielle’s Hope, no farm animals were harmed or traumatized during the production of this motion picture.”

The Debt – Part 1: “No frock tarts were killed during the making of this motion picture, although they wished they had been.”

The Debt – Part 2: “Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship suffered another blow (although Gabrielle doesn’t know it yet) during the production of this motion picture.”

The King of Assassins: “Due to the infliction of a severe wedgie, Joxer was slightly uncomfortable but not harmed during the production of this motion picture.”

Warrior…Priestess…Tramp: “Despite another Xena lookalike, the gene pool (or rather the gene puddle) was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.”

The Quill is Mightier: “No naked Gabrielles were harmed during the production of this motion picture.”

Maternal Instincts: “Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship was harmed during the production of this motion picture.”

The Bitter Suite: “The musical genre was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, the producers sincerely hope you were A-MUSE-D by this episode.”

One Against An Army: “Gabrielle’s ankle was harmed during the production of this motion picture.”

Forgiven: “No street-talking, cat-fighting, barroom brawling juvenile delinquents were harmed during the production of this motion picture.”

King Con: “No con men were conned during the production of this motion picture.”

When In Rome: “Caesar’s palace was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However Crassus and the gladiators went down for the count.”

Forget Me Not: “Xena and Joxer were not forgotten during the production of this motion picture.”

Fins, Femmes and Gems: “Joxer’s dignity was slightly harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Gabrielle’s pink nightie was restored to its original condition.”

Tsunami: “No cast or crew were singing “Tanks For The Memories” during the production of this motion picture.“

Vanishing Act: “Upon completion of the filming of this episode, Autolycus’ scuba gear was placed on display at the Athens Diving Institute for the education and enjoyment of future generations to come.”

Sacrifice – Part 1: “No Pulsing Cocoons were hatched during the production of this motion picture. What you witnessed was purely a reenactment.”

Sacrifice – Part 2: “Gabrielle finally went off the deep end during the production of this motion picture.”