johnbabayagawick:

mnemosyne98:

Keanu Reeves’s filmography described by a tired 3am me ( @aromaticpurple, this was partly your idea)

The Matrix: man gets a big coat; learns kung fu; fights killer robots. Weird brain stuff ensues.

John Wick: sad former assassin’s dog killed, now a whole bunch more people have to die also (read: the entire Russian Mafia)

Speed: a bomb. A bus. A bomb on a bus. A guy on a bus, with a bomb on it. Will he save all the people? (Yes)

Point break: “The FBI’s going to pay me to learn to surf?”

The Matrix reloaded: Even longer coats. Clones + more clones. Weird underground rave sex; evil Frenchman

John wick Chapter 2: sad former assassin has to go back to assassining again, all because of a bastard with ridiculous hair. New doggo

The Matrix revolutions: Bleak apocalyptic future. Fun with train stations. Whoops look who’s got psychic powers now

The day the earth stood still: huge robot friend made of little mechanical bees, alien with a suit and a weird name who controls electricity or something. Reads minds too, I think

47 ronin: John wick what are you doing in ancient Japan?

Constantine: Annoyed exorcist smokes; punches demons in the face; visits hell using a cat and a bucket of water. Smoking kills, kids

Summary.