Because most of us spend the majority
of our time indoors, NASA conducted a
Clean Air Study to determine which
common houseplants are the best for
filtering harmful toxins like ammonia
and formaldehyde from the air.
**Please note: Several of these plants are known to be toxic to cats, dogs and other pets. If you are a pet owner, please do check the toxicity of plants before introducing them to your home.**
2am – city lights from a high rise, dusty book piles, tired eyes, writing stories, indie concerts, procrastination, denim jackets, classic movies, writing in a diary, impulse shopping, plants on the window ledge
5am – evening drives, dark circles under eyes, neon lights, vivid dreams, broken handwriting, 90s music, leather jackets, tousled hair, late night phone calls, silver necklaces, flannel around their waist
10am – soft blankets, lover of routine, acoustic songs, good grades, bullet journals, pastels and plants, sweet coffee, freshly baked bread, cat washi tape, cozy apartment, long winter coats over turtle neck jumpers, tote bags
1pm – yellow socks, doodles, doc martens, strawberries in the garden, sunflower daydreams, pictures of clouds and best friends, a handful of flowers, peach slices, paint smears on clothes
5pm – gold sunlight, peach ice tea, whispered secrets, swimming in the lake, roses on the wall, french pastries, learning foreign words, soft voices, bike rides and summer picnics, wax stamped envelopes
7pm – dreamy sunsets, evening laughter, cursive handwriting, glossy makeup, soft lighting, photo booths, cherry ice cream, sparkling ocean waves, vintage mirrors, sweet tangerines on a balcony, flowers in a bath
11pm – scented candles, unwanted nostalgia, existential questions, sadness without reason, sitting in the dark and watching the stars, associating songs with past lovers, soft heart, oversized jumpers
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________ And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
oh my god these are great
fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes
I love this photo of Tom Holland because he looks like a kid that’s been listening to his racist relatives argue over Christmas dinner for the last half hour:
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