Tyrannosaurus was not the most dangerous animal in the park. Having imprinted on its handler since infancy, the creature maintained a docile temperament all the way to adulthood, and indeed seemed to prefer feeding from its designated trough to pursuing prey. Its interactions with staff and guests showed at most a mild curiosity, and the only real terror the beast inspired was when it snuck up on trainers to sniff their hats.
The raptors were not the most dangerous animals in the park. Hollywood had greatly exaggerated their size, first of all, and while they had a mischievous streak (one individual in particular was fond of stealin zookeepers’ wallets), they were far from the hyper-intelligent murder lizards everyone expected. Their intelligence was less of the predatory sort and more the comical intelligence of a corvid, devoted mostly to play and caring for their fellow flock members.
The mosasaur was not the most dangerous animal in the park. Though it held no loyalty to the zookeepers, it had taken to training well enough, and would dutifully move to a specific section of the tank when signaled, giving the keepers space to carry out any business they needed to accomplish in its tank without fear of harm.
No, by far the most dangerous animal in the park was the Struthiomimus. Everyone expected it to be easy – what were these animals in pop culture beyond being fodder for the carnivores? Surely the bird-mimics couldn’t be much of a hassle. Sadly, they weren’t just any bird mimics.
No, in temperament, the Struthiomimus mimicked a swan.
Highly territorial and vicious to the bone, more keepers had suffering brutal beatings by the struthis than had been hurt by the rest of the park’s fauna combined. And when they learned to chew through the fences…
Well, let’s just say the Tyrannosaurus never experienced a more terrifying day in her life.
i love how in jurassic park the woman has a phd and cargo shorts is out there solving problems and digging her hands in dinosaur poop for science
but they still had to have a token sexy character so, instead of the usual screaming blonde with a torn shirt and tight shorts, we have him
the chaos “rock star” scientist who got a tiny bit bloody so he had to open his shirt all the way and rest his injured body in this very practical position
Most movies have just a random woman character who serves no real purpose but to be half dressed and sexy, but for a few wonderful brief years in the late 80′s early 90′s that person was Jeff Goldblum.
My top three feminist exploitations of male-default language:
1. “Valar morghulis. All men must die.” “Yes, but we are not men.” – Daenerys, Game of Thrones
2. “No man can kill me!” “I am no man!!!!” – Eowyn, LotR: Return of the King
3. “God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.” “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.” – Dr. Ellie Sattler, Jurassic Park
Please for the love of god, do not have a scene where Chris Pratt takes his shirt off. These films were never about any of that kind of shit, they’re in a class all their own..keep it that way..dont throw any modern sexual under passes in this damn film..we know he’s buff we dont need to see that shit. He plays a stone faced Raptor Handler..keep it that way.
RandomFandom 