The Queen has requested that everybody with a knighthood attend a meeting at Windsor Castle. Speaking to the sizeable crowd of ageing actors and retired musicians, she explains why – The dragons are back, and she expects that every knight will do his duty.
Everyone turns and looks at Ian McKellen.
“Oh Christ,” he says. “If only Christopher Lee were still here. Then we might have a chance.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Stand aside, you lot!”
The crowd of knights parts, revealing Dames Maggie Smith, Judy Dench and Helen Mirren, all of whom are dressed in leather and ready to fuck shit up.
“Honestly, Ian,” Maggie Smith mutters. “Really.”
As the Dames stride past a suitably chastened Ian McKellen, Michael Gambon produces a folding chair, a hip flask and an immensely pleased expression.
“Told you,” he says, taking a seat. “Did anyone bring any biscuits?”