So, long car journey today with friends and fam and my bro pitched we do the most millennial of things – sort our favourite TV show characters into their Hogwarts houses!!
Herewith some of our ideas for GLOW…
Slytherin – Ambition
(I feel the need to add a disclaimer here in that I don’t think ambition is a negative trait, or one that makes you evil… I love my Slytherin girls and will wrestle anyone who would try to shame them for wanting more).
Debbie Eagan – Debbie is clever and brave in spades for sure, but we thought her need to better herself is at the absolute core of her being. And she can be pretty cunning about it too when she needs to be, as function of bitter experience. She was forced out of Paradise Cove by being too straightforward with her ideas and plans but that doesn’t mean she’s given up on her dreams of not having to put up with other people’s shit. Key sorting moment for us has to be:
Ruth Wilder – we um-ed and ah-ed a lot over Ruth. She’s brave, clever and she works SO HARD. Coming back to the gym after Sam cut her in the first day of auditions definitely took a lot of guts. But for us, ultimately, it’s Ruth’s belief that she can be so much more than her conditions currently allow that made us plump for Slytherin. Given the chance to direct she absolutely leaps for it, and even when Sam is punishing her she won’t give up on pushing for her ideas to be recognised as valid.
Every listicle about which Star Wars characters go in which Hogwarts houses is bullshit. They always make Leia a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor. Leia is a Slytherin. She was raised a princess but even that wasn’t enough for her, she was like “I’m gonna overthrow the government, bitches.”
And Han Solo is not a bad-ass Slytherin, he is a Hufflepuff, because every five minutes he is dropping his own agenda to help his friends not die doing whatever crazy shit they’re about to do.
The biggest Gryffindor in the whole trilogy is R2D2, because every beep of his can basically be translated as “Hold my beer and watch this,” usually followed by him getting zapped by something and falling over.
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