What’s the most ridiculous false rumor that has been spread about you?
I joined my wife’s workplace about 12 months after she joined. When we worked together (same department, same roles), we’d keep mostly away from each other so not to crowd each other. When we’d take breaks, we’d be hanging out together. You know, normal stuff.
Thing is, no one picked up on the fact that we were husband and wife. They knew she was married, and that I was married – but not to each other.
Someone saw us holding hands on the walk back to our car after work, someone else saw us kiss when I dropped her in to work when I had the day off, and rumours started flying around that we were cheating on our significant others.
People took it upon themselves to ‘intervene’ and approached me to tell me she was married and that I should be ashamed of myself. Someone else made a comment to her that she should be more discreet if she was going to continue on her relationship with me.
Truth be told, we both found it pretty fucking funny. Didn’t get a chance to run with it, because we were so taken aback by it when it was brought up to us individually, that we just blurted out the truth on the spot.
sometimes u go on google searching for a reference image and you just find something that is totally not what you are looking for but is better than anything u could have ever dreamed
who is she
the moment I saw this woman I was completely overcome with the feeling that she was, at that very moment, somehow divorcing me
him: haha so do you have any fantasies? 😉
me: i’ve published a critically acclaimed new york times bestselling novel and i’m set for life on royalties alone. i attend a charity event for supporters of the arts. i meet lin manuel miranda. he tells me he’s glad to meet me and he enjoyed my book. i burst into tears in front of everyone; nobody says anything about it, they all understand. when i recover we jokingly discuss a stage adaptation. freddie mercury is back from the dead and he’s performing. i look good in every photograph taken that night.
The other day I had a really good idea for a story:
A high school Shakespeare club angrily splits into two groups when they can’t agree on the correct interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. One group thinks it’s a cautionary tale about the stupidity of youth and shallow lust; the other group think it’s a beautiful tragedy about poisonous hatred conquered by love. Reconciliation seems impossible-
–then a person from one group falls in love with a person from the other
#it would be better if somehow EVERY OTHER SHAKESPEARE WAS HAPPENING AT ONCE#like you got a benedict and beatice b-story#and then somebody see’s their dad’s ghost#and there’s cross-dressing#and three upperclassmen tell macbeth he will be drama club president
Of all a deer’s senses, their eyesight is the worst.
IT DOESN’T HELP THAT THOSE ARE POSSUMS WHO ALSO HAVE TERRIBLE EYESIGHT. XD SO BOTH CREATURES DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT WAS WHAT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE I’M DYING.
JK Rowling: Suddenly, light started shining through the window!
J.R.R. Tolkien: The window, which hanged on the wall, softly letting its curtains dance around the room, suddenly brought a bright light into the house.
Douglass Adams: Quite unexpectedly, light shined through the window in the room, which was less surprising when you think about the fact that’s what windows are for.
Lemony Snicket: Light shined through the window abruptly.
abruptly, usually means unexpected, or sudden. For instance, if your mother picked you up from school after telling you twice about doing that, it would not be abruptly. However, if someone were to tell you your house burned down and your parents were dead without telling you to sit down first, it would very much be called, abruptly.
my life is like Chopped except it’s God up there going “here’s a set of 4 mystery ingredients: some form of illness, zero disposable income, an ambiguous sense of self, 4 day old pasta….. you have 30 minutes to come up with some sort of life, with quality. ice cream machine broke”
RandomFandom 