These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease”. “That depends, Sir,“ said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” (George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill) “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second …. if there is one.“ (Winston Churchill, in response.)
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx
13 years ago today, Pepsi’s Super Bowl commercial starring Beyoncé, BritneySpears, Pink & Enrique Iglesias was premiered. #PepsiGladiators
Damn these were simpler times
so lemme break this down
-lord caesar iglesias, who does not sing in this musical commercial, has captured britney spears, pink, and beyonce to battle it out gladiator style -our trio decides instead of fighting, they will instead rock so hard that the audience forgets about their battle to the death -their musical prowess is so damn powerful they rock the foundation of the earth and overthrow caesar iglesias along with his stash of ancient roman pepsi -beyonce, britney spears, and pink drink pepsi while the audience cheers -enrique iglesias is eaten by a lion
Britney, Beyonce, and Pink are the only girls from that era that kept their careers. This wasn’t a commercial, this was an omen.
I love this photo of Tom Holland because he looks like a kid that’s been listening to his racist relatives argue over Christmas dinner for the last half hour:
Hottest of hot takes, Heimdall is literally the only competent Asgardian, he’s the only one, he’s the entirety of the functioning government
Don’t forget lifelong helicopter parent to two spoiled princes, resulting in their favorite tactic of yelling beseechingly at the sky whenever they want to nope out of a situation.
Steve Rogers: If we give it our all and do our best in this final battle, we can stop Thanos and save the universe! Avengers and Guardians, assemble!
The whole team: Yeah! Let’s win this fight!
*in the far future*
Daisy Johnson: Well that didn’t end well.
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