It occurs to me that as much as “humans are the scary ones” fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly friendly or curious ones.
I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought “I’m gonna ride on that thing!”?
And put a human near any canine predator and there’s a strong chance of said human yelling “PUPPY!” and initiating playful interaction with it.
And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide “I’m gonna swim with our splashy danger friends!”
Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest aliens out there and say “Heck with it. I’m gonna hug ‘em.”
“Why?!”
“I dunno. I gotta hug ‘em.”
And it’s like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends.
“Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans.”
“Why? Are they more aggressive than we anticipated?”
“It seems to be the opposite Commander. Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their hand when attempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world. Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a “mean kitty” and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed. I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy’s fauna.”
“I see what you mean. So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer. And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these “puppies” so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated.
Ehehehe I love this! Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 90% cuter and more epic
Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone.
“So I hear that you’ve just recruited a human for your ship.”
“Yes, it’s the first time that I’ve worked with these species,
but they come highly recommended. Say, you’ve worked with a few, what tips can
you give me? I’d hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding if it’s
avoidable.”
“The
first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised.”
“Wait, what?”
“I’m serious. Don’t do it. Things. Happen.”
“But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that
every crew should have at least one on board?”
“Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excellent
innovators, and are psychologically very resilient. If you have a crisis, then
a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable. Treat your
human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member. Their
ability to get on with almost any species is legendary.”
“But Toks, didn’t you just say…”
“The
trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything. If you leave them
unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into. It was
sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked
up the Crown Prince to coo at him.”
“Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pixia?”
“The
very same. Surprisingly good sense of humour. But don’t even get me started on
that one time with the Dunlip. Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it.
As a pet.”
“A Dunlip? You
mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun?”
“Yup. Don’t
leave your humans unsupervised.”
“I’ll uh, take that under advisement.”
“Seriously. Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get… creative. Don’t even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby.
Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched thing, half the humans on crew tried to revolt about us “killing” Stabby by removing the knife.
“How… how did you resolve that sir?”
“Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative solution, I suppose.”
“And that sated the humans?
“Worse.”
“Worse?”
“They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on springs to both and held mock battles. Then decided Stabby and Knifey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage fights between them any more.”
Stabby is an omniversal constant.
Oh my gods, we’re the Steve Irwins of the universe.
this is my fave thing.
it can’t even be safe to assume humans would only attach themselves to only fuzzy, furry things. reptilian and even insectoid creatures are just as likely to be randomly selected as “this is a thing i love” by a human.
“Excuse me, captain? Human-Rob requests that we … bring aboard … a Kilarn.”
“A Kilarn? The giant poisonous and highly aggressive insectoid predator? Am I hearing you correctly?”
“…. Yes ser.”
“For the love of- WHY?”
“I asked the same thing, to which they replied “he’s trying his best” in a distressed tone of voice.“
1) I think Aliens is as good a film as Alien is but they work in different genres. Aliens is much more action than Alien was and that’s part of the reason I prefer it (because I prefer action over horror). James Cameron brings his signature adrenaline fueled, profanity filled, layered characters to the film and the world set up by Ridley Scott’s masterpiece and it works wonderfully.
2) The music of this film I think works even better than Jerry Goldsmith’s score for Alien, but maybe that’s just me. From the get go it sets the ominous tone of the film but later on it is able to help balance out the action and suspense beautifully. Strangely enough James Cameron and James Horner did not see eye to eye on this film and did not work together again until Titanic eleven years later (after Cameron was impressed by Horner’s work on Braveheart).
3) Paul Reiser’s Burke.
Much like the original Alien played on established tropes, Burke is an inversion of the “nice guy” trope. Anyone who is a fan of “Veronica Mars” particularly knows that a lot of times the “nice guy” character can really be kind of a jerk and Burke is that. He appears as a friend, as someone who cares, as a nice, sensitive guy…but he’s fucking slime. He’s not levelheaded, he’s not smart, he’s not selfless, he’s a self centered prick who acts more like a robot than Bishop (the actually robot in this film). Paul Resier plays this role with delicious assholery and it’s wonderful.
4) People had to wait seven years for an Alien sequel. Ripley had to wait fifty seven years. Ripley has bigger problems than you. Get over it.
5) Instead of doing a lengthy post about how Ripley works as a character, I’m going to talk about it as I go along with the recap. Because Ripley develops throughout the film, so talking about her at one point and acting like she’s the same throughout the movie would be inaccurate.
6) For one thing: she’s dealing with trauma. She was strong in the first film, but we saw her vulnerable at times and that remains true for this movie. We see her vulnerable, we see her scared, and that doesn’t undermine her strength or skill it just reinforces her bravery.
She’s dealing with nightmares all the time about what happened in the first film, and she should! IT WAS WILDLY TRAUMATIC! But that doesn’t stop her. And that’s what’s awesome.
7) In keeping with the idea that the first film was as much a rape story as much as it was an alien one, Ripley totally gets victim blamed in this movie!
She gives her report, a recap to the company about how everyone died and why she had to blow up the Nostromo, but all they care about is the money they cost them. They don’t believe her, at all. Because she’s just totally making this up, she jettisoned herself into a 57 year old coma for the hell of it.
8) Burke calls Ripley, “kiddo,” and I about lose my shit because she’s older than him, has more experience than him, and his superior in about every way imaginable. Quick note: I watched this after the election so Burke was pissing me off more than usual.
9) James Cameron is the master of telling people to fuck off.
Apone [after Hudson is a jackass, holding his eye open with his middle finger]: “Look into my eye.”
10) A film with great characters usually has a way to establish who that character is and their relationships right off the bat. This film is no exception, as right away after meeting the space marines you get a sense for who they each are as individuals and their relationships with each other.
Vasquez is probably the one established earliest/best (out of her, Hicks, and Hudson). She’s one of the marines to survive the furthest into the film and she’s just this total badass who isn’t afraid of connecting with someone. You get the sense that she and Drake are best buds (maybe more), so when Drake dies you feel for Vasquez (kinda like Parker and Brett in the first film).
11) The freaking knife trick.
The knife trick scene was not in the original shooting script. According to Lance Henriksen, the adding of Hudson’s hand to the knife trick was discussed with almost everyone, except Bill Paxton.
How many people reading this have tried to recreate the knife trick? Seriously. I do it with my pen all the time.
12) Bishop.
Lance Henriksen is a wonderful character actor who has appeared in countless sci-fi and horror films, even having the lead role in Chris Carter’s “Millenium” series.
Bishop is interesting. You’re not supposed to trust him because he’s an android like Ash was in the first film, and that is always looming over the audience as it is Ripley. But he ends up being honest and a good companion, with Burke being more of a robot (metaphorically speaking). Henriksen is great in the role, bringing a sense of kindness, warmth, and sensitivity to what is literally a cold machine. It may be his best role ever, one he reprised in Alien 3 and Alien VS Predator (sort of).
13) Remember how I said this film twists standard film and horror tropes? Well ladies and gentlemen, it still has its damsel in distress: Bill Paxton as Hudson.
Paxton is another A+ character actor and frequent collaborator of James Cameron’s. He gives us the famous line of, “Game over, man. Game over!” and spends most of the movie losing his shit. Paxton has the unique distinction of being the first actor to be killed by a Terminator, an Alien, and a Predator (something which he would later share with Lance Henriksen). Paxton’s hysteria is simultaneously hysterical and nerve racking, as it just makes things worse. He’s really just wonderful in the part.
14) This film gives the alien a name: xenomorph. But it makes me wonder…
If this thing wasn’t supposed to exist and there was no record of it, why are the marines so ready with a name?
15) A scene which perfectly illustrates Ripley’s ability to be both vulnerable and strong is when she’s briefing the marines on the xenomorph. She is obviously still dealing with what happened, and they ridicule her a little for it. But then the leftenant proceeds to stare down the marines and scare them shitless with what they’re facing.
16) Chekov’s mech suit.
Ripley takes the mech suit when Sgt. Apone asks her if there’s anything she can do and manuevers it perfectly, showing that she knows her own worth. I always appreciate that.
17) Michael Biehn as Hicks.
Hicks is a lot like a better version of Dallas (better from a moral standpoint): he comes off as slick, cool, distanced, and uncaring, but when it comes down to it he trusts those around him and cares for the safety of those in his charge. Because unlike Dallas, who’s role as captain was just a job, Hicks ENLISTED. He chose this life, and Michael Biehn (a regular collaborator of Cameron’s) is wonderful in the part. Without his charisma Hicks could’ve easily been a distant jerk, but Biehn brings a kindness to him which the part needs.
18) At one point a character says, “We’re in the pipe, five by five,” when landing and this is all I could think of:
(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)
19) Place and atmosphere are as important to this film as it was to the original Alien, being portrayed by the desolate landscape of LV-426 (the planet the crew ends up landed on) and the claustrophobia created by the colony.
James Horner’s atmospheric score also helps build the tension in tandem with these elements, all forming a perfect marriage of ominous fear.
20) Ripley jumping at every little thing is another great way of showing how she is scared and vulnerable, but the fact that she is there and can take charge when needed enforces her strength.
21) Fun fact: in every film he’s been in directed by James Cameron, Michael Biehn’s hand gets bitten by someone (in this film, Newt). James Cameron was developing a Spider-Man movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger as Doc Ock and Michael Biehn as Spider-Man where – once again – his hand would’ve been bitten (this time in a super important way)!
22) Newt.
It is remarkably easy for a child character in a horror or sci-fi film to come off as annoying and that’s usually because they’re not written or performed in an honest way. Newt is not annoying and is incredibly realistic. Both smarter and more capable than most people give her credit for as a child, this strong little girl is able to hold her own against the monstrous xenomorphs where everyone else has failed. Her relationship with Ripley (a strongly maternal one on Ripley’s part) is the beating heart of this film, adding a dose of realism and human connection which catapults it above typical sci-fi/horror fare. Carrie Henn is great in the role, being just wonderfully honest, but unfortunately didn’t act again after being bullied for her part in the film.
People suck.
23) The fact that Ripley can be strong and loving/maternal/kind is great. So many times a strong woman in films is done so at the expense of stereotypical female traits like maternal instincts, as they’re seen as sexist. But a character can be badass AND maternal like Ripley is in this film, they don’t contradict each other and in fact feed off each other. It’s something I truly appreciate.
24) Much like the first movie, it’s an hour before we actually see an alien. The Hitchcokian building sets up place, characters, and suspense before having the shit hit the fan when the marines venture into the alien nest.
The scene is terrifying, high on suspense and great action and one of the best parts of the film. I just love it. Also Ripley – someone who is not a marine and didn’t even want to come along – fucking takes charge so she can save everyone’s ass. Despite the orders from the officer in charge. Did I mention Ripley is awesome?
25) You want a truly haunting and creepy line which is iconic to this day?
Newt [when it’s getting dark out]: “They mostly come at night. Mostly.”
26) Hicks and Ripley have good chemistry. It could be romantic (or at least lead to something romantic) but is instead based on mutual respect and admiration, therefore leading to something which is deeper than romance. Not often you get a relationship between a man and a woman like that in a movie.
27) Bishop volunteering to crawl through the airducts to hail their ship from atmosphere is the scariest part of the movie to me and they don’t even show much of it. I’m very claustrophobic.
That scares me shiltess.
28) Remember how I said Burke was pissing me off more than usual after the election? This really came to fruition when he tried to get Ripley and Newt implanted with facehuggers so he could get an alien through customs, even planning to kill of the surviving marines to do so.
But god bless Ellen Ripley for this line.
Ripley: You know, Burke, I don’t know which species is worse. You don’t see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.
29) Just because this movie is more action than horror doesn’t mean it can’t be scary as fuck. Notably when the alien swarm is approaching the baracade and the sensors show they’ve already made it through despite not one showing up. So guess where they are? THE FUCKING CEILING!!!
30) This shot is both gorgeous and scary as hell.
31) At one point in the film Ripley and Hicks are trying to get to their ship and get in the elevator, they press the up button and wait a second. It doesn’t go. Hicks then has to press the button again and it goes.
This is hysterical to me and I have no idea if it was a goof on the part of the filmmakers they decided to keep or something deliberate, but I just break out laughing every time I see it.
32) Ripley going into the belly of the beast is incredibly Hitchockian.
There’s little to no dialogue, I don’t think any music, it’s all in real time, the stakes are high because she literally has fifteen minutes to find Newt or they both die (the planet is already blowing up), and she’s literally heading into the alien nest to find her. Although maybe not the scariest moment, it is probably the tensest moment in the movie.
33) James Cameron introduces a significant part of Alien lore into this film with the alien queen.
The design is incredible, taking what is already terrifying about the xenomorph and dialing it up to eleven. Its scale, its ferocity, its insect like nature, its maternal instincts, this is the true alien equivalent to Ripley. It is scary as hell and a great addition to the mythology of the series.
34) Rule of thumb: it’s never over when you think it is. The entire planet still blows up but you still have one final confrontation with the queen.
The final fight between Ripley and the queen is great. While not The Matrix with quick kung fu and pacing, it’s sloppiness and slowness adds to the tension and sense of realism. It’s claustrophobic, ugly, and frightening as hell until Ripley finally winds and blows the queen out of the airlock. A worthy climax to the already great film.
35) Next calling Ripley, “mommy,” is great because it feels EARNED. It’s not out of the blue, it’s not weird or random, that’s their relationship at this point. It’s natural and speaks to the depth the writers, actors, and director brought to the two.
36) Another optimistic ending.
Newt [on their way back to earth]: “Can I dream?”
Ripley: “Yes honey, I think ew both can.”
Too bad Alien 3 had to fuck that up.
Aliens is phenomenal, and I think maybe the last film in the franchise this great. You really don’t need to see Alien to understand this movie (in fact, I first saw this on TV before I saw the original Alien) and it all just works. The writing, the acting, the horror, the action, the monsters, it all is just one amazing cocktail of awesome.
Up next: Alien Cubed (more commonly known as Alien 3)
For some reason this pic makes me want to write a Hudson and Hicks prequel…like perhaps they went to basic training together, and they both had crushes on Vasquez but Drake scared them off. I don’t know.
I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.
Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf).
By the time you realise that they can traverse water, it’s too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives; the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes.
You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come.
The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue.
“Hippopotamus.”
This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinned
Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking “it’s fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders* hippopotamuses. We’ll be fine.”
And at first you are, you’ve learned how to dodge. You’ve learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself.
But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. You’re in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded “hippos” around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind.
Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time.
You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees.
The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. It’s musky and slightly foul. It’s the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from.
You sit up, but it’s too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat.
It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. It’s between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away.
Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadn’t noticed before.
When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human.
“Badger.” they say, with a solemn nod.
One word: Moose
“Our vehicles are far superior to the local human models, in range, speed, armament, and any other metric you care to name! Nothing could possibly-”
BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!!
“That’s called a moose.”
Wolverines.
Also.. dolphins.
The invasion is going slowly. The humans have caught on and are actively destroying information on the planet’s flora and fauna before Intelligence can capture and process it. All that they have are survivors’ accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers. Moose. It is becoming obvious this mudball planet is a full-on Death World to the unprepared, and you are so very unprepared.
You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic reaction on contact that killed him in less than a rai’kor. Commander Vura’ko died to an insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked a tiny bit of her blood and apparently replaced it with a bit of its last meal, which was full of disease. Backwash. She died to bug backwash. And yet you honestly envy them after that… thing you encountered…
When you got back to base the quarantine officer refused to let you inside. They had to roll a containment tank outside to put you in, because you all knew there would be no chance of eliminating the smell if it got into the ship’s air ducts. Smell. You wonder if your nasal slit will ever recover from this stench.
And the smell would. Not. Leave. After incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you use every cleansing agent they could think of, including a few janitorial ones, and still everyone fled the stench if they were downwind of your tank. Desperate to protect everyone’s nasal slits from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horror’s spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didn’t seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple.
Sighing in frustration you wave the med-assist on duty over, who only approaches after checking the wind direction. Annoyed, you flip on the tank`s vox speaker.
“The humans did say it was “grape” juice that removed “skunk” stench, right?“
Every night.
It came for someone almost every night.
Any soldier alone was a viable target for this native monster that moved unseen by any but the security viewers, usually only spotted in hindsight. They were taken as silently as this earth-monster moved. Sometimes they’d find the remains in the morning taken up a tree and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it were a grisly reminder that the monster was still there, waiting unseen, to strike again.
What little they saw of the monster on the vidfeed showed true horror. Yellow eyes that shone with all the light it could gather. It had fangs as long as his grasping digits. Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity. And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all.
Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it.
The earth natives called the monster a leopard.
It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt even more effectively as the soldiers were always on edge. Sleep deprived with fear, it made them even better targets for the monster.
But rumor was that there was worse on this planet. Rumors of a monster like a leopard but larger, and bigger in every imaginable sense. Stripped instead of spotted, which leaped from the underbrush with a sound.
A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed entire units, and let the monster kill with impunity. While the Leopard wrestled soldiers down and ripped their throats out. This other monster, the Tiger, killed with its pounce alone.
“We’ve been through this,” Group Leader 455 snapped. “The dissection of an Earth life form will help the scientists make weapons to combat the rest of this planet’s hellbeasts. And these are domesticated. Harmless.”
The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they don’t want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but can’t quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent. “The name of this species,” she pointed out, “is synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians.” Well, one language out of several thousand—these creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on record—but there was no point in confusing the rank and file.
More not-quite-looking. 455 bubbled a sigh and consulted her scanner. “That one,” she decided. “Alone in the separate pasture. Scans suggest that it’s a male, which means it’s probably weaker. Possibly it’s kept isolated so that the females don’t eat it before mating season. And yes, I know some of you are here on punishment detail, but you’re still soldiers of the Imperium. This squad is perfectly capable of handling a lone, helpless, pathetic male cow.”
I’m enjoying this immensely. Wait until the aliens try Australia for size…
It was a strange creature Tar’van glimpsed at on the vast island known to the humans as ‘Australia’.
“I would warn you not to fuck with us, mate.” Their forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. “If you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back.” To this day Tar’van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring.
The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar’van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had seen these creatures before and they were tame. They barely escaped with 5 of the original 7 members of his squad.
Another moment Tar’van recalls was the brutal mauling they witnessed by the hands of a creature called an ‘Emu’
“Don’t feel too bad,” the prisioner mocked. “We lost a war to the Emu’s as well.”
Now with only 4 members of their squad left, including themself, Tar’van had learned to listen to the prisoner, to be wary of the simplest of creatures. This human was of the sub-species of ‘Zookeeper’ after all.
The ‘Zookeeper’ looks off to the distance, where the creature is.
“It’s a kangaroo, leave it be and you’ll be fine.” Tar’van nods, a human signal of acknowledgement if they are correct. The human smiles a bit.
“That creature cannot possibly harm us.” Tar’van’s squadleader protests. “It is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back it’s head to show this human is a fearmongering liar.”
The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes.
“Fucking do it mate, I dare ya.” The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called ‘Kangaroo’.
“This will be unpleasant.” A squadmate mutters as they watch their leader raise their fist and bring it down on the creature. The ‘Kangaroo’ looks a little stunned by the impact, before it raises itself upon its strong tail and uses its powerful heind legs to launch their squadleader backwards through the air.
Their squadleader lands upon the ground, unmoving with black blooded oozeing from them. It appears Tar’van is the squads leader now.
“I don’t know what they expected.” the human says, smugness filling their tone. “Kangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8-pack and all.”
Tar’van steps forward to the human, whom inches back in a sign of fear as Tar’van pulls their blade from its holster, and in their first act as leader, frees the human of the bonds around their hands.
“Please,” Tar’van bags. “Get us back safely.”
@kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a war to emus? Why was it necessary?
oh, mate, you never mess with the emus.
(Jesus christ. Dont get us started on kangaroos)
They had faced Emu’s. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu.
Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the large bird. “Cassowary…” They mimic him in fear. Squawking the horrific name as another joins the first in the mad run towards them.
The only ones to survive was the native guide and Tar’van. The guide was carrying the soldier over his shoulder as they made their way back to the settlement. Tar’van was a wreck. Periodically alternating between rocking in complete silence and whispering broken words in horror. When they consulted the native all he said was “Its spring…. Magpie season…”
“Listen up, troops. This armour upgrade has been tested both in the laboratories of the best Imperial military scientists and in the field. We are impervious to the stings of any insect on this hellhole of a planet, striped or not! We can brave the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it at long last! Revenge for our fallen companions! Glory to the Emperor!”
“Excuse me,” the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squad’s cheers die on their lips. “This is Japan. You haven’t seen what–”
“Silence, worm! No sting can penetrate this plating!”
The guide tries to warn them once again, merely earning a blow that throws them to their knees. The troops set out, morale high, certain in their ability to brave the wildlife now and thirsting for vengeance against the non-sentient native species. One soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A hollow sound follows.
In an instant, the soldier is the centre of a storm of the striped insects. At first, no one pays it any mind. Their little stings cannot penetrate the new plating, after all.
But then the soldier falls to his knees, and the squad stares in horror as the insects enclose him in layer upon layer of their own bodies, all moving. The squad’s medic yells a warning at everyone to stay back, watching the readouts of the unfortunate soldier’s armour on their diagnostic screen with undisguised horror. The insects aren’t even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldier’s body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell.
Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. “Japanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too.”
“How?” You ask. “How has your species dominated this planet?”
The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans do when they are happy. Yet you can’t help but think of all the creatures with the their large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind of species uses a threat signal as a sign of happiness?)
“Persistence and ingenuity.” The human answers, still smiling.
It doesn’t matter that this one is your prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as terrifying as their planet.
“And scattered about it … were the Martians–dead!–slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all man’s devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, had put upon this earth.”
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