amandageddon:

renew-leverage:

insertusernameici:

Eliot “no shoes on the table” Spencer.

#really though how much of Eliot’s time is spent just trying to housebreak his teammates? #no Nate whiskey for breakfast is a pub song not a valid lifestyle choice #no Sophie you cannot get yet another set of monogrammed towels #bring me a list of your twelve favorite names and I’ll scramble them up and you can have a surprise each month #no Hardison your feet do not belong on the table #your empty soda bottles do not belong on the floor inside this apartment or in the van #lagers do not belong on your winter menu and definitely not with a chocolate lava cake damn it Hardison we already covered this! #(your trackers do definitely belong in Parker’s shoes though that one was probably a good call) #speaking of which no Parker your shoes do not belong on the roof a pigeon knocked one off and scared the shit out of me #also your shoes do not belong on the table either #no one’s shoes belong on the table #please for the love of god can we just sit here and plan our elaborate con like a well-behaved family #can I not have just ten minutes of peace and quiet #do not make me turn this heist around (tags via ereborne)

Do not make me turn this heist around!

squeeful:

lyinginbedmon:

johannesviii:

prokopetz:

One of my favourite anecdotes about the first Golden Age of Piracy is that, at one point, Captain Henry Morgan left England in one ship, and arrived in the Caribbean commanding a completely different ship, and nobody knows why. What happened to the first ship and how he acquired the second one are entirely unrecorded.

At some point in his short career (1715 until 1718), the English pirate Ben Hornigold attacked a sloop near Honduras just to steal all the hats of the crew, because his own crew had gotten drunk the night before and they had tossed every single one of their own hats overboard.

Bartholomew Roberts, arguably the most successful pirate in history by ships captured (a whopping 470 in 3 years), didn’t actually want to be a pirate. His ship was captured and he was forced to join the pirate crew.

After the original pirate captain was killed, he was democratically elected captain of the pirate crew less than 6 weeks after being captured by them.

…Dread Pirate Roberts

maryburgers:

benwarheit:

Things I like about this decal on a restaurant window:
-the insane orange waiter
-that he’s carrying his plates in the air like a strongman
-the couple looks like this isn’t the first time he’s done this, but it’s easier to just let it happen at this point.
-the sign says PASTA as if he’s screaming it like a frankenstein
-but he’s holding a plate of an entire chicken and a plate of wine glasses
-there’s three wine glasses
-one’s for him.

This makes me laugh to the point of tears every time I see it