panzertorte:

#the fact that eliot   #who always moves carefully knows where to put his feet where to rest his weight how to move regardless of the situation   #goes skidding to get to Hardison that much faster   #and that Hardison who’s so careful with how he touches and when   #never demanding   #unless it’s to give Eliot shit   #is just openly clinging   #…this entire scene hurts my heart so bad but I love it   #and that’s not even talking about Hardison and Parker here holy hell   (via distinctivelibrarians)

Also the fact that he doesn’t go hug Parker because that is just too much for her. She has to process this in his own way and even though he wants to hug her he still gives her space.

Source: insertusernameici

priboltao:

aces-and-anime:

teenagebarbarianbeard:

artisanbloodbank:

hubblegleeflower:

twentyonelizards:

wombatking:

newtgeiszler:

jesterofthetraveler:

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney – early 20th century

Eric Andre – Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi – Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves – We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum – 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau – Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

this is david lynch erasure

Who are the female immortals?

Jenny Slate – Jazz Age Darling, bffs with Alice Roosevelt

Helena Bonham Carter – Refused an invitation to dine with Queen Victoria based on her treatment of the Irish

Lucy Liu – ran away from home to join Ching Shih, 19th century Pirate Queen’s crew. Was considered too soft for fighting and was given an accordion

Bjork – 14th century Icelandic healer accused of witchcraft, also possibly a selkie

Whoopie Goldberg – present during the Conquest of Constantinople but don’t bring it up around her, it’s too fresh in her mind

Tilda Swinton – found sleeping in a peat bog. Carbon dating inconclusive

this is blatant cher erasure

Cher isn’t immortal – she can just turn back time

Ok, two things

1 – Keanu is more likely the same age as Jeff Goldblum, I can tots see him as this Biblical prophet that was just trying to warn humanity that things would go downhill v soon

2 – If you think Lucy Liu would be considered too soft to fight you are very mistaken my friend

She would inherit that motherfucking pirate business

thiswitchsblog:

terapsina:

onion-souls:

tilthat:

TIL there are only around 120 anonymous Michelin restaurant inspectors in the world. They spend 3 out of every 4 weeks on the road, and must vacate a region for 10 years if they think a restaurant suspects their identity.

via reddit.com

Imagine thinking your spouse is a sexy secret agent for decades only to find out he’s a restaurant critic for fat tire boy magazine

Better yet imagine a real spy getting in trouble and mistaking a restaurant critic for a fellow agent. But the critic takes their job very seriously and won’t reveal themselves and so gets pulled into some kind of huge dangerous conspiracy whilst continuing to take notes on the quality of every restaurant they almost get shot in.

Someone please make this into a movie. With Jason Staham as the food critic.