Category: Uncategorized

lyinginbedmon:

johannesviii:

prokopetz:

One of my favourite anecdotes about the first Golden Age of Piracy is that, at one point, Captain Henry Morgan left England in one ship, and arrived in the Caribbean commanding a completely different ship, and nobody knows why. What happened to the first ship and how he acquired the second one are entirely unrecorded.

At some point in his short career (1715 until 1718), the English pirate Ben Hornigold attacked a sloop near Honduras just to steal all the hats of the crew, because his own crew had gotten drunk the night before and they had tossed every single one of their own hats overboard.

Bartholomew Roberts, arguably the most successful pirate in history by ships captured (a whopping 470 in 3 years), didn’t actually want to be a pirate. His ship was captured and he was forced to join the pirate crew.

After the original pirate captain was killed, he was democratically elected captain of the pirate crew less than 6 weeks after being captured by them.

systlin:

thechurchofapathy:

systlin:

kasaron:

systlin:

werebearbearbar:

cracked:

Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A Lie

True story – There are historical accounts (well, there’s at least one historical account) in which English people whine about how the Norse men bathe so often they’re able to seduce the local women away from their husbands.

^^^ Yep. Turns out the women were way more into the hot well groomed muscular dudes who liked to smell nice.

*Hot, well groomed men who liked to smell nice and knew their way around sharp objects.

“I just don’t know why you couldn’t marry a local boy sweetie.” 

“What can I say dad, Hjalmar bathes regularly, smells nice, has shoulders, can wield a sword and can wield his sword ifyaknowwhatImean, and when he comes back from raids likes to shower me in rare gifts from overseas. Look at this necklace! The amber beads came from the lands of the Rus! Also, he’s teaching me how to shoot a bow and use a spear because he thinks it might be nice if I could go on raids too someday.”

You’ve described my ideal man.

Fuck.

Like I’d ride that longboat if ya know what I mean.

Source: cracked

Mean Girls Xena Edition

Joxer: Xena… How do I begin to explain the Warrior Princess?
Gabrielle: Xena is flawless.
Aphrodite: I hear her chakram is insured for 10,000 denars.
Alti: I hear she does horse shows in Chin.
Callisto: Her favorite epic is the Oddysee.
Meg: One time she met the King of Theives…
Minya: – And he told her she was pretty.
Ares: One time she punched me in the face… it was awesome.